October

I started swimming in the sea in October 2020.  I've wanted to do it for the longest time and one Sunday, whilst out walking the dogs I met this wonderful woman J.  She told me that the first swim was the hardest and introduced me to a fabulous bunch of women who swim daily.

The start of a love affair.  I've made some wonderful friends, had a lot of laughs and seen a lot of sunrises.

My first sea swim was with Carol though.  It was after the funeral (to which no one could attend due to Covid restrictions) of my friends mam.  I spent such a lot of time in that house growing up and it was heartbreaking to be back in Sandymount to say goodbye.  

I met Carol after the funeral and, even though it stole my breath away, it was perfect.  That gorgeous balance between pleasure and pain.  Nothing like a good cry whilst swimming to help clear out the head.  RIP Sheila, you were a big part of my childhood and I hope you at peace and know how much you were and are loved.

There is a photo missing here and that is the one where I lost track of myself and stopped paying attention.  I was so into just enjoying the moment I forgot to remember where I was and ended up out of my depth and in trouble. 

 

Funny what goes through your mind at times like this, my head was mostly screaming fuck and trying to work out what to do.  J noticed I was in trouble and asked if I needed help and, I swear to god, there was a split second there where I was going to say NO because I didn't want to endanger her and because I felt like a fool.  Thankfully, I said yes and she and C came to my rescue.  Think AM was there too.  

There were a lot of white faces looking on from the shoreline, less than 20m in front of me.  I'd made the decision to let the sea take me to the rocks as I hoped that way I would be able to get myself out.  In the end that's what happened, albeit with help from my fabulously brave friends.   The water wasn't even that deep.  I just couldn't get my footing as the waves were so big and fast.  Legs and hands are still scarred but I'm still here.  It took about 5 hours to warm up and a whole day to stop bursting into tears.   

I was terrified going back in but we picked a calm, quiet day and it was alright.  Not great but alright and that was a start.